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2005-09-14 - 1:11 p.m.

Fall Season TV Picks:

Yes, television is a drug, but it's a free drug, and one that doesn't destroy my lungs or liver. That said, I don't watch much of it, mostly because I don't have cable. But sometimes, I just need to flop onto the couch and stop thinking for an hour, and TV's a great way to shut my brain down. So here's my "must watch" schedule, if you want to join me:

Sunday: King of the Hill and The Simpsons. Did you know that this is King of the Hill's last season? Probably not, as I'm the only one who ever watches it. Also, they seem to have put Malcolm in the Middle (a decent enough show, though I rarely watch it) into the "kill spot" (7 PM Sunday, to be preempted by football for half the season - see Futurama), which is unfortunate, as the rest of the Sunday lineup looks like absolute vomit. I mean, I loathe Family Guy with every fiber of my being, but people seem to like it. However, no one has ever liked, or will ever like, American Dad and The War at Home.

Monday: Arrested Development. Why aren't you watching Arrested Development? Are you one of those pretentious communist hipsters who constantly has to point out, "Oh, I dont have a TV, it's a tool to pacify the masses and even if I did I would only watch PBS," or are you confused by the subtle humor and long for the rapid-pace, in-your-face comedy stylings of Blue Collar TV? If you're somewhere in the middle, you'd probably enjoy Arrested Development.

Tuesday: House, M.D.. I admit it - I like to watch fluff. I used to watch telenovela La Prisionera, and then when we lost Telemundo, I watched Doc for about two episodes until it was proven that watching Doc leads to massive, irreversible brain damage. So then I watched Young Blades, which was also monsterously stupid but also monsterously cancelled, and now I'm on to House. House, while formulaic (each episode, Dr. Gregory House and his team diagnose patients. Meanwhile, House is an asshole to everyone), is consistently entertaining, and Hugh Laurie does a superb job and really acts the hell out of the role. I'm a little worried that House might actually be a good show and that I'll have to find something else that is horrible to watch. Ask me about the time I watched the entire second season of America's Next Top Model. No, don't really.

Saturday: Saturday morning is for saturday morning cartoons. I will continue watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because it is very good. In fact, it is better than the original. There, I said it. The only other show that catches my eye this season is G.I. Joe Sigma 6, which is unfortunate because it looks awful. I'm glad that it's an actual anime and not just done in the anime style to be trendy, but, geez, it's severely stupid. Half the guys are a little too "bishonen", and the girls all look like they're twelve. THE BARONESS IS NOT TWELVE. Also, the music is horrible and the writing isn't that great. I'll probably end up watching it anyway, as it's still a hell of a lot better than any of the other G.I. Joe stuff released since the monumental '80s show.

What are you watching?

 

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