2005-04-12 - 4:14 p.m.

Seen in the packy this weekend: a twentysomething guy with a crew cut and a football, buying a 30-pack of Bud Light and two tiny bottles of Jagermeister. PARTY AT HIS HOUSE

I guess it's pretty funny that I ever expected to get my copy of All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from my Golf-Playing Cats from this person.

One of the best things I ever saw on a call-in television program was when someone had called in to complain about local ambulance service and that he had had some medical problem and by the time the ambulance arrived, he died. "You... died?" said the call-in host. The look on her face said SOMETHING HAS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG HERE. (As it turns out, he was, of course, resuscited directly afterwards). Announcement: AOL hates 13th-floor and blocks all email from it. Stupid stuck-up ISP.